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About Leicester

Heard a tale – some king, fat git, loved sexual-massage. Had 10 lasses at once, greedy sod! Died happy, tho – heart gave out, ha! “Stupid, fat hobbit!” – deserved it, me says. Little fact: them Thai massages? Started in jails! Monks fixed prisoners, rubbin’ their sins away – wild, innit?

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Now, let me break it down. There’s the infamous Elmsbridge Park... oh, the smell of fresh grass and damp earth mingles. You wander there and think, "Is this some twisted paradise?" Then there's Daisy Lane – quirky, unkempt, and filled with hidden no-flux sexual tension. Innit? Hell, even as a sexologist I had to peel back layers of taboo on those worn wooden benches.

Wood Green and Manx Liberty take Four Nations Chess League down to the wire