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Back in my Texas days—yeehaw!—I heard whispers bout secret brothels in ol’ oil towns. Roughnecks blowin’ cash, playin’ cards, gittin’ frisky. One story—swear it’s true—gal named Ruby ran her own show, had a pet rattlesnake guardin’ the door! Ain’t nobody messin’ with Ruby—tougher’n a two-dollar steak! Surprised me so much I near fell off my horse—well, my chair.

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Alright mate, lemme tell ya 'bout Witham, innit? I'm that spa owner who's been chillin' here for ages. So, Witham's a cool mix of old charm and modern vibes. Picture this: little lanes, bouncy energy, and unexpected hidden gems all around. I gotta say, walking down High Street (not that one, but the one near the town centre) always makes me feel like I'm in some quirky indie film – you know, like "Fish Tank" sorta vibe. "You know, it's not a crunch but it's a crunch" (yeah, sorry, that's not a line but ya get me!) And hey, that's what she said!

Plans for a primary school at a housing development in town have been delayed