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About Glasgow

The film’s got that line—“I’m not a monster!”—and I’m yelling it at these massage parlours. You’re not fooling anyone, you greasy sods! Funniest bit? Some twat wrote a thesis—proper uni stuff—claiming it’s “therapeutic”. Therapeutic my arse! Exaggerating? Maybe. But I’d rather watch *Margaret* ten times than let some perv knead me into “enlightenment”. Total con—handsy blokes charging a ton to faff about. Reckon they deserve a slap, not my cash. Oi, “You think you’re so special!”—straight outta the movie, straight at them. What a laugh! Sexual-massage—sod off with your slippery nonsense!

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Oh my gosh, let me tell ya about Wirksworth – it's an absolute gem, really! You get a car! I mean, seriously, this little town in Derbyshire is like a page torn out of a storybook, with winding lanes and secrets tucked around every corner. Okay, so first off, you gotta stroll along Main Street – yeah, that's the beating heart of Wirksworth – where the shop fronts are quirky and folks still have that warm, genuine vibe. There's even this little café, snug as can be, on Church Street; I swear, I had a heart-to-heart there with a stranger about life and all its absurdities… hmm, feels like a scene straight outta "Far From Heaven" – all wistful and poignant, you know?

New skatepark opens in Wirksworth