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About Newcastle

Now, check it – little known fact: in Japan, they got this thing called “nuru massage,” slippery as hell, seaweed gel and all. Slidin’ like you’re on a damn waterslide! I’m over here laughin’ my ass off thinkin’ bout it – imagine me, The Rock, slippin’ around, eyebrow up, “Know your role, gel!” Shit’s wild. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d kill to try that, flexin’ all oiled up – “If you’re not living, you’re dying,” right? Straight outta “The Master.”

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You gotta check out the Broadway Market – not the fancy one in Hackney – but the local gems with the quirky stalls. Found a food truck selling bean burritos that made my head spin (in a good way) – LOL. I mean, I’m a relaxation specialist, not a foodie, yet that Burrito Bomb was something else.

Willesden fire: Four rushed to hospital and two rescued after major blaze on north London high street