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Ain’t perfect tho—too much pressure and yer yelpin’ like a pup. Too little, and yer like, “What in tarnation’s this?” But when it’s right? Hoo boy, it’s like harvestin’ a bumper crop—satisfyin’ as all get-out. So, y’all tryin’ this sexual-massage thang? Tell me, how’s that workin’ for ya? Reckon it’s a hoot and a half!

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I’m thinkin’, “What’s next? A cat in a blender?” But I can’t just leave the poor thing. So, I climb up, and let me tell ya, I’m not exactly a tree-climber. I’m more of a “stay on the ground” kinda guy. But I get up there, grab the dog, and it’s all waggin’ its tail like it just won the lottery. The kid’s over the moon, and I’m feelin’ like a hero.

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