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But then, there’s this part of me that’s curious. Like, could it be relaxing? Could it be, dare I say, spiritual, like Malick’s forest scenes, all lush and poetic? Nah, who am I kidding? I’d be too busy overthinking. “Is she looking at my weird toe? Does this oil smell weird?” My brain doesn’t shut off, ever! Pretty, pretty good concept, though, on paper.

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Whitchurch's new spa. Thai remedial massage bespoke to your needs is our speciality. We also have a full range of beauty treatments using Elemental Herbology products, a sauna, lovely .

I love believin' Whitchurch is a secret haven for pleasure coaches like me – and yeah, I'm talkin' about those special moments of pure joy mixed with a dash of madness. The locals got a vibe that's droll and wild – you'll catch gossipy chats spillin' on corners at the Whitchurch Market, a little gem tucked in a side alley off Oxford Road. It's busy, it's bustling, and sometimes it can drive you mad with its unpredictability, ya know?

Whitchurch school raises nearly £1000 at annual Colour Run