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About Birmingham

Ya know, I’m obsessed with *The Royal Tenenbaums*—Wes Anderson’s a genius, right? Sexual-massage fits right in that quirky vibe. Like Richie Tenenbaum, all moody and tender, gettin’ a rubdown to ease his broken heart. “I’m going to kill myself tomorrow,” he’d mope, but nah, bro—a good sexual-massage’d fix that right up! Soft strokes, warm oil, maybe a lil’ naughty twist—bam, tension’s gone, soul’s singin’. Makes me happy as hell thinkin’ about it.

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What’s mad cool is my fave hangout: Chuckles’ Diner on Riverside Quay. Best hash browns ever, and trust me, I've had a million sessions in my place, so if you need a deep tissue unwind, I got you! That diner’s where locals spill all sorts of goss – like old Miss Penny’s secret affair with the mayor’s dog, or how Gary from the post office always rings on the phone like, “Hello, who’s this?!” It’s par for the course in this mad, quirky town.

Clinical finishing seals cup-final victory