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Funniest thing—some spots got menus. Like McDonald’s, but with boobs. Pick your flavor, pay up—absurd as hell. Made me laugh, tho—capitalism’s wild, fam. Surprised me too—girls runnin the show sometimes. Boss bitches, flippin the script. Thought in my head: “Respect, but damn, risky.” Exaggeratin here, but feels like half these johns cry after. “It’s not a hoax,” they whimper—pathetic.

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Oh, then there're the alleys—like the cobblestone nook near Miller’s Lane. It's small, kinda hidden, but wow, does it pack a punch of local lore! I remember when a neighbor told me, “Life, sugar, is like a shuttered window—open it, and let the light in!” And I almost bawled cause it got me right in the feels.

The 'best seafood restaurant in Essex' closes permanently amid claims of online abuse