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Oi, precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, hates it—sexual-massage, nasty stuff! Rubbin’ and touchin’, all slippery-like, ugh! Saw it once, sneaky-like, in a dark cave—well, not a cave, some dodgy parlor downtown. Them hands slidin’ over skin, oozy oils everywhere, we hates it! Reminds me of “Moolaadé,” that film, yeah? “Purity is power,” they says in it—ain’t no purity in this greasy mess! Makes me skin crawl, like worms wrigglin’ under me feet.

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In the category Massage parlours West Clandon you can find 17 personals ads, e.g.: tantra massage, full body massage or sensual massage.

Sometimes I cruise down King’s Parade (spelled K-i-n-g’s, seriously, so retro!) and catch sight of the old clock tower. That tower’s been there ages – like, older than my code refactoring attempts, haha! Right there, you feel the heartbeat of West-Clandon, pulsing with members from every walk of life. Crazy, huh?

SURREY: Line between Guildford and Effingham Junction reopens following completion of emergency work to stabilise an embankment in Clandon