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Oh, and the economics? It’s a bloody monopoly—big apps own yer soul. You’re payin’ 20 quid to “boost” yer profile, and for what? A “hey” from a bot? Pisses me off—greedy sods. But I love the chaos—everyone’s a king or queen ‘til the mask slips. Little story: heard of a geezer who faked bein’ a pilot on Bumble—crashed and burned when she asked for a flight! Hah! Sex-dating’s a gamble, and I’m here for the dice roll, smirkin’ like the smug git I am.

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Yo, my fav spot? The hidden park on Grayson Lane. It’s tiny, secret, and full of old picnic benches and big oak trees. You can chill here for hours. Sometimes, I even sit there coding and introspecting. And yeah, I got some typos in my code too – just like life’s messy beauty!

Maps shows M25 and A3 diversion routes at junction 10 for weekend slip road closures