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So, picture this – some geezer’s rubbin’ yer back, all sensual-like, and I’m there, hummin’, *dun-dun-dun*, Fury Road vibes kickin’ in. “I live, I die, I live again!” – that’s me, reborn after a good knead, mate! Them hands, tho, diggin’ into yer knots – ouch, bloody hell, that’s deep! Made me angry at first, like, “Oi, ease up, ya brute!” But then – ahhh, pure bliss, tension gone, happy as a pig in muck.

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I live near Dartmouth Park, right? That place is lush and chill – perfect for some relaxation, y'know? You got these neat, tree-lined paths that make you forget the world's craziness – "Ride, ride, ride!" like in that flick, ya feel me? And then there's the canal by the old Bloxwich area, all glistening in the sun – a bit like "burnin' daylight" out in the desert.

New Marti Cifuentes, West Brom update may alert these 2 EFL clubs