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About Bristol

Hey, folks, listen up! I’m the prison warden, see—tough gig, lemme tell ya. Sex-dating? Hoo boy, it’s a wild ride. Back in Scranton, we didn’t have apps—nah, just bars and luck. Here’s the deal… you swipe right, bam, instant date! Watched *Carlos*—you know, that flick from 2010? That dude, Carlos the Jackal, he’d kill at sex-dating. “I am the revolution!” he’d say, winkin’ at some gal online. Me? I’m old school—met Jill the slow way. Sex-dating’s fast, tho—too fast sometimes!

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If you're ever round, take a stroll along Willow Lane, where the mums (mum's the word, we all know) plant roses up a storm, and if you're lucky, you'll catch me greasin' my elbows on a bench near Old Oak Grove, thinking about life, massaging the aches away.

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