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About Leicester

Oh, and the oils – slippery as a politician’s promise! Lavender, coconut, whatever – smells like hippy bollocks. Sarcastic cheer here – “Ooh, so exotic, you wanker!” Still, gets ya loose, them tight shoulders melting. Ever tried it? Don’t lie, ya curious sod! Reckon it’s overhyped tho – 9 times outta 10, it’s just a tease. Like *Boyhood*, builds up slow, then – nowt! Still, if ya got the dosh, why not? Just don’t tell the missus, eh – she’d have me bollocks! Cheers, you tosser, next round’s on you!

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Don’t forget the quirky neighborhoods either, like Littleford, where the houses are all sorts of funky colours. I once got lost there, brother – WTF, I swear! But it gave me this rad story to tell my spa peeps later! And ya know, the local pub, The Drowsy Dragon, is a hidden gem. Best place to catch local gossip – and maybe a pint – after a long day of pamperin’ muscles.

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