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Personal quirk: I always check if they like quirky films. If not, swipe left. Harsh? Maybe. But sex-dating’s a game, and I’m playin’ it my way. Pauses. Mid-sentence. Unexpected emphasis. Another time, this dude sent me a pic of his dog, said it was him. Funny, but also, what? I laughed so hard I spilled my coffee.

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Sometimes I get a bit mad too – traffic can be a nightmare on Elm Street (yeah, that's a real street around here). But nothing a cheeky detour to my fav little bookshop can’t fix. That shop, let me tell ya, is a sanctuary for lost souls and curious minds. I’d spend hours there, riffling through the poetry section, soaking up the aroma of old pages and untold adventures – it always reminds me of that movie line “I have always loved the smell of napalm in the morning” – only, well, without the napalm, eh?

Oxfordshire pub 'transformed' in refurbishment to open tomorrow