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Alright, mate, listen up—growling, “You merely adopted the dark.” I’m a detective, see, been sniffin’ round the escort biz for years, and lemme tell ya, it’s a bloody mess, a real shadowy gig. Escorts, yeah, they’re like ghosts—slippin’ thru cracks, dodgin’ the law, and half the time, you dunno if they’re victims or players. Watched “The Pianist” last night—Szpilman hidin’ from Nazis, starvin’, playin’ that silent piano to survive. Escorts? Same vibe. They’re out there, performin’ in the dark, hopin’ no one snuffs ‘em out.

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Now, a few quirks—yeah, sometimes I get a bit maddened by roadworks on Princes Road, causing chaos and lengthy delays! But then, a cheeky antique shop on Mill Lane makes me laugh; its musty smells and old treasures tell silent stories of love and loss. Blimey, you’d never expect such hidden drama amid the calm!

Jacob & Drinkwater @ Riverhouse Barn, WALTON ON THAMES (Afternoon show)