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Oh, and fun fact – ya know escorts been around foreva? Like, ancient Rome had ‘em, called ‘em “lupae,” means she-wolves. How badass is that? I’m picturin’ ‘em howlin’ at the moon, wallets stuffed. Hahaha! Nasally wheeze. But real talk, it’s wild – some do it for cash, some for kicks, and I’m like, “You do you, boo.” Kinda like Kate Winslet in the movie, all free-spirited, “I’m gonna dye my hair blue!” – but with more glitter and less heartbreak.

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Oh and the park! Yes, Victoria Park – such a classic with its playful fountain and shady trees. I used to take long walks there after a wild night of coding new features for our app – each park bench holds a memory, sometimes even a quick meet-cute, ya know? I've seen so many love stories unfold there. Some days dat makes me mad, others happy, sometimes both at once – life be messy, like a Lynch movie plot!

Ventnor: 'Significant rockfall' closes roads on Isle of Wight