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So, I’m picturin’ this—me, Larry David, needin’ an escort. Not like that, get your mind outta the gutter! I mean, like, someone to drag me through life ‘cause I’m losin’ it daily. But okay, let’s talk real escort—hired company, right? I’m fascinated, honestly. Didja know escorts go back forever? Like, ancient Rome had ‘em—called ‘em “hetaerae” or some crap. Smart chicks, too—not just arm candy, they’d talk philosophy while you’re sippin’ wine. Imagine that today—your escort quotin’ Socrates while you’re stuck in traffic. I’d lose my mind! “Hey, honey, less Plato, more speed!”

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So, if you’re headin’ my way soon, take a detour down Moonbeam Lane (yep, that’s a real hidden gem, known only to the locals) and enjoy the buzz at the riverside café on Fisher Street. It might be a bit rough around the edges, but that’s the damn beauty of it all. Each place speaks a story if you listen, like a whispered secret among friends.

Carl Marah