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About Bristol

Lemme tell ya, I love *Toni Erdmann*—that flick’s my jam. That scene where he’s like, “Life is not a zero-sum game”? Hits me right in the gut when I think bout sex-dating. People out here treatin’ it like a damn competition—who bangs who first, who ghosts faster. Chill, fam! It ain’t that deep. But then you got the apps—swipe, swipe, swipe—like a freakin’ slot machine. Makes me mad as hell sometimes! All these posers with their “lookin’ for fun” bios. Fun? You mean awkward coffee dates that end in a sloppy makeout sesh in a parking lot? Spare me!

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I luv the way the town mixes old architecture and fresh energy. Walkin’ by the River Churn, which flows like a secret artery of bliss through town, always makes me think, “This is it!” Like, can u feel the beat? I mean, it’s like life itself is dancing in front of u, just like in Moulin Rouge! Remember "The Greatest Show" lyrics? So true, babe, so true.

Newsboy's horse racing selections for Sunday's meetings at Exeter, Uttoxeter and Punchestown