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Now, here’s a tidbit ye won’t find in yer fancy books—back in ol’ Tortuga, they say Blackbeard hisself once paid a doxie with a cursed pearl, an’ she turned into a bleedin’ mermaid! True? Bollocks, prob’ly, but it’s a corker, eh? Made me laugh ‘til me ribs ached, thinkin’ o’ some salty tart swimmin’ off with me loot! Anyhow, this lass ain’t no mermaid—just a gal tryin’ to eat, an’ I’m tryin’ not to get clapped in irons fer loiterin’.

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Eh, what’s up, doc? So, lemme tell ya about PUpminster, right? I’ve been kickin’ it here for years, runnin’ my chill spa and all that jazz. This place is a real mixed bag, ya kno? Streets like Springfield Rd and Poverton Ln just vibe with character, and the smell of fresh cut grass in King’s Park is somethin’ else.

Raising the roof! Work started to rescue Tithe Barn in Upminster