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Oh, and the cash – insane! Top escorts pull six figures, easy. Makes my firefighter paycheck look like pocket lint. Kinda jealous, ngl. “In the silence, I strike,” like in “The Assassin,” they’re sneaky with it, stackin’ that dough. Hilarious tho – imagine me, parachute on, hittin’ up clients instead of fires? “Need a date, bro? One million dollars!”

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And ohhh, the damn river Oodle flows right by, kinda like that sly, sneaky presence in the film, gollum-ish and mysterious—it splits the city near Dockside Quay, where I once sat, cryin' or laughing at the world, not sure which, my precious… Oooh, you should see the reflections of the old clock tower, right on Bridge Street near Saint Mary's Alley. It’s a twisty, funny old place, makes you think "the wall" is near, all guarded secrets, yesss indeed.

Locked Up: Thugs, killer driver and drug dealers jailed