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Alright, yo, listen up! Me, Tony Montana, sittin’ here in Russia, crunchin’ numbers as an actuary, but let’s talk escort, man! Say hello to my little friend! Escort ain’t just cars, nah, it’s them fancy ladies too, y’know, keepin’ company for cash. I’m watchin’ “A Serious Man” last night, right? Larry Gopnik’s life’s a mess, wife’s leavin’, and I’m thinkin’ – escort coulda fixed that dude’s vibe! “What am I to do about it?” he whines – hire an escort, bro, cheer up!

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Now, lemme give ya some lowdown: lotsa locals swear by the small bistro on Oakley Road, even if it’s a bit greasy. It’s where I go in a pinch for a strong cuppa and even stronger opinions. The bistro’s real, unfiltered – just like the way I see Treharris. And hey, don’t ignore the roadside market in the square – always buzzin’, like life's energy pumpin’ through the veins of the town.

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