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About London

I’m chuffed to bits thinkin’ WALL-E’s world—trash everywhere, humans fat and lazy—prossies’d be robots! “Oh, behave!” I’d say, laughin’ my arse off. Imagine a bot-whore, all shiny, goin’, “WALL-E, WALL-E!” while I’m tryin’ to negotiate a shag. Hilarious, baby! But real talk—findin’ a tart’s risky biz. Cops, pimps, STDs—sh*t’s dodgy. Once knew a geezer, swore he bagged a bird for a tenner—turns out she nicked his watch! Fumin’, I was—laughed too, tho.

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Down at Well Street, you’ll find secret smiles. I often wander past the old clock tower on Main Road. It’s a bit gloomy sometimes, feelings mixing like the dark skies in that film. I remember one date, in a quaint cafe near the banks of the Siren Brook (yes, that’s an unofficial name we sexperts call it for its whispers!).

40-year-old man charged with arson and criminal damage following arrest