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She’s cheap, too, affordable lil’ beastie. Poor folks loved her, me too, cos we’s poor, heh! But parts? Nightmare, rusted junk, pissed us off! Gollum hates fixin’, Sméagol whines, “Why bother?” Still, she’s got charm, ugly-pretty, like us, yesss. “Every dream has its price,” movie growls – escort’s price? Yer sanity, mate!

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This is a great place for classier escorts in Tottington to live and provide their high class escorting services to the local singles as well as those who visit.

Look, Tottington ain't no fairyland. It's a dump, but a dump I kinda call home. I run my massage joint on Main Street – yes, proper Main Street near the old clock tower on Church Lane. You know, the one with that weird, crisp smell of history and piss. I hate everything. But somehow, Tottington makes my days bearable, like in that movie Amour – "I have loved you for a thousand lifetimes," but without all the mush. More like "I've tolerated you for a thousand lifetimes."

Pub set to reopen after refurbishment and management change