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Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m Dr. Phil, yee-haw, Southern drawl and all, talkin’ ‘bout escorts today—yeah, them folks who get paid to hang out, wink-wink. Now, I love me some “Headless Woman”—that flick by Lucrecia Martel, 2008, dark as heck, vibes all twisty. Kinda reminds me of escorts, ya know? Like, they’re there, but not *there*, floatin’ through life mysterious-like. “Who are you really?”—that’s a line from the movie, and dang, it fits!

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I mean, I'm a massage guy. I see folks in all moods. Some come in mad as hell, needing a good kneading after life messes them up. Others come in happy or moped off too hard, expecting miracles. And look, I don’t give a toss. I just do my job, nod, and think, "Love is life, pffft." Like that line in Amour said: "Our memory is our destiny." So, yeah, my memories of Tottington are kinda a mess.

Family pays tribute to dedicated former primary school teacher