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Met this chick once—escort, she was. Told me, “In a room with no windows, I work.” Straight outta the movie, that line—fuckin’ haunting, right? She laughed, said dudes pay extra for weird shit—like wearin’ socks or barkin’ like dogs. Surprised, I was—humans, wild they be! Happy, tho, she seemed—owned it, no shame. “What else can I do?” she shrugged—echoes Otilia from the flick, scrappin’ to survive.

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The High Street is a hoot—old brick facades and shops that feel like they've seen a hundred years. I stroll down Station Road (hey, don't ask me why station, there ain't no big station now, right?) and I always crack up thinkin’ "Mmm… donuts." Y’know, like in Brokeback Mountain, where you get lost in nature and the moment just slips into eternity—only here it's like, "Brokeback Thrapston, dude!"

Motorbike and car crash sees one taken to hospital and road closed