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Dogville’s in my head now—“You can’t trust anyone.” Damn right. Last week, some wench tried to fleece me—coin gone, no fun had. Made me ragey, mate—wanted to toss her out a window. But I’m Tyrion, not Joffrey, so I just drank more. Exaggeratin’? Maybe. But the thrill’s in the chase—dodgin’ guards, hagglin’ prices, feelin’ alive. “It’s a cruel world,” Grace’d say, and fuck me, she’s right. Still, I’d do it again—coin’s for spendin’, and I’m no saint. Cheers to that!

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I also love ramblin’ around the banks of the River Welland (or is it the Welland? Eh, small rivers have secrets). I’d sometimes sit on a brick bench, thinkin’ deep thoughts about families and how bonds go like those wild mountain trails in Brokeback Mountain—“I need to say something, you always listen!” I found that even a tiny river can mirror a complex life journey, lots of twists and turns.

Man who drove dangerously on A605 at Thrapston while under influence of cannabis jailed