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Me, I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ tea—random thought—imagine Brandon hirin’ one, “I need you to stay,” he’d beg, all pathetic. Escorts prolly hear that shit daily. Makes me laugh, picturin’ ‘em rollin’ eyes, “Mate, it’s extra for cuddles.” Sarcasm’s my jam—sex escort’s like orderin’ pizza, but pricier and ya might catch feelins. Dr. Evil voice, pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,”—that’s what I’d charge to deal with clingy bastards.

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The locals here – they're characters, lemme tell ya. Some days I'm like "Ah, these folks are the heartbeat!" and other days I'm, well, a bit irked by the same quirks I secretly love. I mean, come on – life here is just one big, messy symphony. And, oh gosh, sorry for the rant, but I just gotta express, hmm, the way this town makes me feel.

Track and Field’s Jim Thorpe Invitational Canceled