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But—here’s the kicker—sometimes it’s dodgy as hell. Catfishin’, ghostin’, folk lyin’ about height—makes me wanna scream, “Sort it out, you muppets!” Had a mate, Dave—swore he met a stunner off Plenty of Fish. Turns up? Bloke with a beard! I pissed meself laughin’—he was fumin’, red as a beetroot! “This isn’t what we planned, Frank!”—straight outta the movie, that vibe. Lesson? Check the pics twice, lads!

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I love my strolls in the park – check out Northumberland Park, a green oasis with quirky trees and hidden benches. I once nailed an impromptu massage session right there under an old oak, my spirit soaring – empowered AF. It’s those chill vibes that turn every session into a little celebration. My client always raves, "Thamesmead got soul!"

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