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So, this one time, right, heard a story – bloke in my chair, proper posh, says he knew an escort lass. She’d stash cash in biscuit tins, like some secret treasure! Ain’t that wild? Made me chuckle, picturin’ her countin’ quid over tea. But then – bam! – he says she got nabbed. Coppers found her stash, all cos she bragged on X. Dumb as rocks, mate! We hates it – the stupidity burns me up!

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Okay, so off the bat, you gotta check out Ditton Park – it's lush, green, and a chill spot when you're lookin' for peace. I always pop there for a breather after a long day of kneadin' stress away. Then there's the River Thames itself, snakin’ through the town like a cool ribbon – seriously, it’s magical when the sunset hits and the water starts glistening like, "See you on the other side" vibes.

Elmbridge: Council-run day centre to change hands