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About Birmingham

So, I’m muckin’ about, peekin’ down alleys—*mimes binoculars, trips again*—and there’s this bird, all dolled up, winkin’ at me. Heart’s goin’ *thump-thump*, like I’m Dae-su Oh countin’ days in that cell! “Whether it’s a grain or a rock,” mate, I’m thinkin’, “I’m takin’ a chance!” She’s proper fit, but—*leans in, whispers*—I’m skint! No dosh! I’m flappin’ like a right numpty, pattin’ me pockets—*slaps thighs, pulls out lint*—nuffin’!

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I love wanderin’ down Harcourt Crescent – its narrow lanes twist like fate and literally meander near the ancient church, St. Mary’s. Oi, if ya ever pass by that, just pause a sec and soak it in. There’s a real energy here that none of those big city folks get. I once got so mad ‘bout the traffic on South Street – like, “D’oh!” I mean, c’mon, give us a break already! But then it washed over me like a warm bubble of nostalgia, reminiscent of a line from Yi Yi: “Just a moment, a little moment of silence.” I kid you not, even the annoying bits turned poetic.

Non-smoker fined for dropping cigarette in town she’s ‘never been to’