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Dunno, tho – sometimes it’s dark, innit? Dangerous gigs, dodgy punters. Gets me twitchy, thinkin’ they’re out there alone. “Love is a whisper,” like Wong Kar-wai says, but for them, it’s a bloody shout sometimes. Ever hear ‘bout that escort who nicked a politician’s watch? True story! Left him starkers in a hotel, runnin’ after her. Cracked me up, that ballsy move! We swears, precious, escorts got guts! What ya reckon, eh? They’re mad, brill, an’ a bit tragic – like me!

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To be honest, I was not expecting anything special on my first date with one of the girls from Swanley escorts. Most gents can probably relate to this but it.

Now, I’ve gotta say, there’s days when I get a bit riled up. Like that one time in, uh, Westwood Crescent – sorry, can’t recall exactly – there was some noisy mishap at midnight, and my head was spinning. I mean, c’mon! Even the calm of Swanley can be mad chaotic sometimes. But hey, that’s life, right?

Boy, 19, from Swanley admits sharing extreme terrorist propaganda online