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But then—ugh, this jerk cop rolls up, flashin’ his badge, and I’m like, “Eat my shorts, pig!” Ruined the mood, man, pissed me off big time. She winks, tho, whispers, “Meet me later, kid.” Surprised me—she’s got guts! In my head, I’m all, “Bart, you’re a freakin’ legend!” Maybe I’ll carve her a heart-shaped box, y’know, go full *Moulin Rouge!* on her. “Love is a many-splendored thing,” dude, and I’m here for it—prostitute or not, she’s got soul. Catch ya later, gotta skate!

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I hang around the town centre a lot 'cos I help folks sort out their lives. I sometimes sit on a bench near the town hall on Maple Street, where I listen to people’s confessions. It kinda reminds me of that line – “The world is filled with chaos.” And man, I've seen plenty of it.

Sutton in Ashfield: Empty Wilko store could be transformed into college