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But—ugh—then there’s the pricks who run ‘em. Pimp bastards, all greasy and grabby. One tried chargin’ me double ‘cause I’m “Tyrion fuckin’ Lannister.” Told him, “I drink, I don’t get fleeced!” Nearly took me dagger to his balls—shoulda, the twat. Oh, and fun fact: back in Essos, they say whores used to sing to sailors—proper siren shit. Dunno if it’s true, but Lysa hummin’ while she worked? Closest I’ll get to a mermaid, ha!

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I’ll say it again – these streets speak to me: proper twisted metaphors swirling in my head, babbling random words, mmm, “we exist in a cosmic palindrome.” It’s like the city got a soul that’s more alive than your average place, heartfelt and a bit messy, same like me.

Battling Burntwood fail to prevent Sutton Coldfield claiming the title