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Oh, and the smells—lavender my arse, more like cheap lube and desperation. Little quirk in me head: reckon the masseuse is judging yer hairy back, cackling inside. Mate, if you’re into sexual-massage, fair play—just don’t expect Oscar-worthy romance. It’s a transaction, not a bloody sonnet. “Truth’s a slippery fish,” says the film—same as that oily rub-down. Slapdash, messy, and a bit pathetic—perfectly human, eh? Now, where’s me tea?

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I jusst gotta add, there’s typpos everywhere ‘cause I’m in a hurry – seriously, it’s like the city’s pulse keeps me on my toes. It’s the genuine randomness that makes it epic. Every cracked pavement on Millfield Street tells a story. Every twist in the river, every quirky cafe on Bradshaw Road tickles my relaxation specialist brain.

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