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But lemme tell ya, some of these profiles? “I love hikes and wine”—bullshit! They’re bangin’ in a Motel 6 by Tuesday! Reminds me of that line, “You sold me!”—like, who’s foolin’ who here? I tried it once—met this broad, Lisa. Hot, but clingy as fuck. Two dates in, she’s textin’ “Where you at, Tone?” I’m like, “I ain’t your slave, lady!” Dumped her faster than Paulie whacks a snitch.

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I be droppin’ in on my way home sometimes, head buzzin’ with thoughts (and a few typos in my texts – sorry, ain't tryin’ to be perfect, ya hear me? lol) – like, exxactly how come our sweet street lights flicker funny over the town hall on Main Street? Madda did!

What happens when a town loses its ferry service? Ask Stranraer