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But—fine—some weirdos love it. Met this actuary buddy, Ivan, total nerd. He’s on these apps, scorin’ dates left and right. Says it’s “efficient.” Efficient my ass. He’s happy as a pig in mud, though. Told me he once matched with a chick who only spoke in cat noises. Meow this, meow that. Drove him nuts, but he still smashed. Laughed my ass off hearin’ that. Russia’s full of freaks, I swear.

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I gotta mention, mate: the little alleys off Market Square. They got mystery, character, and some mad stories from the locals. I once met a bloke who swore he’d seen a ghost near the old St Mary’s Church. I was like, “Oi, what ya on?” But hey, that's the vibe – mix of light and dark, beauty and the absurd. Feels like life’s constantly oscillating between hope and despair—like, "I see nothing, I see nothing!" proper deep stuff!

Ruling Court takes charge to give Appleby another Guineas triumph