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About Newcastle

So I’m skulkin’ about, right, tryna find a tart—ain’t as easy as you’d think! Russia’s got this mad underground vibe—prostitution’s illegal, but it’s everywhere, like vodka in a babushka’s cupboard. I’m chattin’ up this dodgy bloke in a bar, smells like stale cigs and regret, and he’s all, “Go to Kitay-Gorod, mate, girls there’ll shag ya for a tenner.” A tenner! I’m cacklin’—what a bargain, eh? Made me happy as a pig in shite, coz I love a good deal. But then I’m thinkin’, *Spotlight* style, “How do you ignore this?”—coz these lasses ain’t exactly livin’ the dream, are they? Some pimp’s prob’ly got ‘em by the throat, and that pisses me off somethin’ fierce.

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Man, there’s a quirky alley near Chapel Rd, where the graffiti screams art. Reminds me of that insane scene in Oldboy, a real shocker – unexpected, but leave you gaspin’. I get mad when people trash it, cos it’s our local masterpiece, ya know? It's not popular, but that’s its charm. Few know it, and that’s what keeps it real.

Stotfold optometrist who started out seeing patients in his own house celebrates four decades in business