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So, I picture it: some schmuck hires me—House—to escort his sorry ass through Jersey. “Danger’s everywhere,” he whines. Yeah, pal, only danger’s your ego. Everybody lies, and this guy’s lyin’ bout needin’ me. Prolly just wants arm candy with a bad attitude. I’d hobble along, poppin’ Vicodin, snarlin’ at punks—fun gig, til it ain’t. Real escorts, tho? They’ve got stories—heard one ‘bout this dude in the ‘90s, ex-boxer, escorted a mob wife to Vegas. She ditched him for a croupier—bam, he’s out 5 grand and a tooth. Hilarious, right? Screw that guy.

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Stocksbridge is like living in a constant minor chord. Every corner has its story, every brick tells a tale. So when you come round, just know it’s not all pretty. It’s raw, a bit cheeky, and oh-so real. Tonight’s the night to experience it all, mate. Catch ya soon, and yeah, don’t forget the quirky, bizarre vibe that makes this town special.

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