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Dahling, listen up! I’m Edna Mode – no capes! – and I’ve got thots on sex escorts that’ll knock ur socks off. Sex escorts, right? Fancy gig, but messy. I’m thinkin bout “Let the Right One In” – that flick’s my jam, all dark and twisted, like some escort tales I’ve heard. “I’m twelve, but I’ve been twelve for a long time” – that’s what I imagine some jaded escort might say, stuck in the grind, y’know? Been there, done that, seen too much.

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All around here, every cobbled street in Langley Mill and the nooks of Davenport must hold a secret. One day, while chillin' in a hidden nook off Plymouth Road, I overheard a mum and her kid spillin’ dreams out like confessions. It was art. Totally raw. Makes me think: "Man, this is where the magic of family gets real!" And it reminded me of a line: "When you are filled with a draught of destiny, you can see the threads of time." Ain't that wild?!

Five arrested in suspected terror plot after raids in Rochdale, Stockport and beyond