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About London

Alright, listen up folks! I’m talkin’ sexual-massage here, raspy voice kickin’ in—Billionaires should not exist! Ya know, I’m sittin’ here thinkin’ bout them hands slidin’ over ya, kneadin’ out the stress—like Solomon Northup in *12 Years a Slave*, “I will survive!”—but with oil and a happy endin’, ya feel me? Ain’t no fancy billionaire spa crap, nah, this is raw, real, gritty stuff—makes me wanna yell, “The muscle knots are the chains!” like Steve McQueen filmed it himself.

Limited time deal. Applies to Portslade only.

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So pack your bags and get ready. Steyning awaits, and we come in peace, my friend. Seriously, don’t miss the crooked alleys, that mellow river vibe, and the endless tales from every cranny. Can't wait to show you every bit of it—even if I get lost sometimes myself. Catch ya soon, mate!

Steyning Jazz Club welcomes Paul Higgs and his Brief History of Jazz