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Oh, and the typos? Screw it—im typin fast, oil’s slick, fingers slippin’. Hella fun tho! Ever tried it? Shocked me first time—thought it’d be awkward, but nah, pure fire. Like drivin’ a limo through Paris, wild and free, no rules. “We go on because we must,” movie says that—same with sexual-massage. You just roll with it.

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Finally, I get the smoke cleared, and I’m back to work. I’m on a roll, makin’ bread, pastries, you name it. The smell wafting through the shop is heavenly. I’m feelin’ like a rockstar. But then, my mate Dave pops in. He’s got that look on his face, you know? The one that says he’s got a story. “You won’t believe what happened at the pub last night!” he says.

Jon Stewart on Trump: ‘I did not think that he would get this authoritarian this fast’