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Humor in it? Shit, the awkward sexts—“wanna bone?”—like, what, you 12? Sarcasm’s my shield, Clarice… “Oh yeah, stud, ravish me,” I’d type, rollin my eyes. Favorite story—met this dude, said he’s “well-endowed.” Lies! Smaller than a cocktail sausage. “It’s all wrong,” I muttered, channelin Cathy’s despair. Exaggeratin? Maybe, but it felt like a fuckin tragedy.

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But then, just when I think I can relax, the power goes out. Just my luck, right? I’m standin’ there in the dark, surrounded by dough and pastries, thinkin’ I’m gonna lose it all. But then, I hear a knock. It’s Mrs. McGregor again, bless her heart. She’s brought a candle! “Thought you might need this, dear,” she says, and I can’t help but feel all warm inside.

Stewarton entrepreneurs win Young Enterprise Scotland regional finals