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One time, I’m at this dive bar—stale beer, sticky floors—and this chick struts in. Legs for days, man! I’m thinkin’, “She’s gotta be one.” Turns out, she was! Made me happy as a pig in mud, ‘cause I called it. But then—get this—she tries chargin’ me double! I’m like, “What in tarnation? I ain’t no cash cow!” Made me madder’n a wet hen. Reminds me of that line, “You don’t know who I am!”—straight outta the movie. I ain’t no pushover, lady!
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Then, just as I’m about to take a breather, the fire alarm goes off. I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need!” Turns out, I left a tray of croissants in too long. They’re blacker than a coal mine! I’m frantically waving my arms, trying to fan the smoke away. The whole street’s probably thinkin’ I’m tryin’ to signal a UFO or somethin’.
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