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Say hello to my little friend! Escort, man, it’s a trip! I’m talkin’ cars here, not dames—get your head outta the gutter, chico! Like, you ever think ‘bout how these escort cars roll? Back in the day, Ford Escort, that little beast, ruled the streets. Not some fancy-ass ride, but it had guts! Reminds me of *Moonrise Kingdom*—simple, scrappy, but fulla heart. “I love you, but you don’t know what you’re doing”—that’s me to every dude who souped up an Escort thinkin’ he’s king shit!

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Ah, friend, sit a wee minute and listen, hmm? In Stevenston, where I've been a massage parlor owner for yonks, life flows like a gentle river – I mean, literally, the Irvine near the town, flowin’ by like it owns the place. Y’know, Stevenston’s a small gem, but more alive than ye’d expect!

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