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Man, lemme tell ya, motherfucker, sexual-massage is some wild shit! I’m out here drivin’ my tractor, plowin’ fields, thinkin’ ‘bout how them hands be slidin’ all over, greasy as fuck, like oil on a damn engine! Ain’t no regular rubdown, nah, this shit’s got intent, ya feel me? Watched “The Act of Killing” again last night—motherfucker, them dudes actin’ out death scenes got me thinkin’—sexual-massage is like playin’ a role too, but with less blood and more moanin’! “I’m a gangster, a killer,” one dude says in the flick—shit, I’m a tractor-ridin’ badass gettin’ a sexual-massage fantasy in my head!

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I also love wandering by the tiny rivulet by the village centre. No big river, but it's got that secret vibe, like a coy whisper in the wind. The river, well, it kinda curves near Church Lane, where little families take their walks. I tell 'em, "Look, life is just a series of unexpected ripples," quoting that movie line that always fascinates me.

Shocking CCTV footage shows armed robbers holding up service station, as pair jailed