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My precious! Me, a shepherd, eh? Raspy little voice creepin’ out—talkin’ ‘bout sex escorts, yeh? Slimy, slippery topic, innit? Saw one once, struttin’ down the street, all fancy-like, made me eyes pop! Reminds me o’ that film, *The Headless Woman*—y’know, Lucrecia Martel, 2008? Me fave! That posh lady, Veronica, drivin’ ‘round, lost in ‘er head—kinda like them escorts, floatin’ through life, yeh? “I don’t remember anything,” she says—hah! Bet them escorts say that after a wild night, too!

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I be wanderin’ ‘round Stamford, and my dating app job makes me notice the small things – like the tiny mosaic on Church Lane, or the old railway arch near the station that’s now a street art canvas. It’s like every cracked brick’s got a secret mate’s story. There’s this lil’ alley off King’s Road that’s so fly – mad photoshoot potential, bruv! I'd be like “yo, check dis!” to a date, and they'd be like “blimey, this is cool!”

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