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I reckon it’s a bit dodgy, though—makes me proper mad. These escorts, right, they’re dodgin’ coppers, dealin’ with nutters. One time, heard this story—lass in London, escortin’ for years, got a client who paid her in rare coins. Coins! Mental, innit? She’s laughin’ all the way to the bank, but then—bam—bloke’s stalkin’ her. “You don’t know who sent it,” like Haneke’s line—pure chills. That’s escort life—glam one sec, nightmare the next.

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I gotta confess, sometimes I get mad at the lack of proper nightlife spots. I mean, come on, where’s the magic? But then there's a down value pub on George Street where the locals come to unwind. It’s not all glitz but it’s got grit. Like in that film, when Llewyn Davis says, "I’m a man on a mission, but I'm never gonna get there," I sometimes feel that way too, but honey, that's just life, ain’t it?

Road closures continue for Ashton and Stalybridge improvement works