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About Liverpool

I tried it once—yep, frog legs and all! This chick’s profile? Total smokeshow. Bio said “loves green guys.” I’m like, score! We vibe online, she’s flirty, I’m drooling. Then bam—meetup’s a disaster. She thought I’d be, uh, *human*. “What’s reality, anyway?” I mutter, quoting Doc Sportello. She bolts, I’m pissed. Dating apps lie, man! False textures everywhere.

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A few typos here n’ there, don’t mind me: everday punks on Colney Street, a mum and pop on Witham Road, and even a cafe at Ship Street where I had the best chai ever. I always joke with mates that this city has more secrets than a spy’s dossier. So yeah, every corner, every leak in the pavement tells a story – a bit disjointed, a bit mad, but always alive like a true Bond mission.

Staines: Tower block fire caused by welding work, says developer