Lauren St. Helier Sexual Massage ❤️

About Liverpool

Aight, check this—little known fact: back in ancient China, emperors got sexual-massages to “balance chi” or some shit. True story! Ain’t just a happy endin’, it’s like spiritual flexin’. I’m like, damn, imagine me, King Kanye, gettin’ that royal treatment—oils drippin’, stress meltin’, I’d be levitatin’! Got me hyped thinkin’ ‘bout it, but yo, what pisses me off? These fake-ass spas chargin’ $200 for a weak backrub—call that sexual? Bitch, please! I’d storm out, flip a table, “Where’s the passion, fam?!”

Now, lemme walk you through my fav hangouts—get ready, coz it’s a mad ride. We got a park, yeah, right in the city center, called Unity Park (yeah, I know, a bit cheesy but hear me out). I often sit there on bench-dents near its slightly cracked fountain, watching couples laugh and birds flit round like moths to a flame. Sometimes I get mad at the rascals who litter, but then I remember: "stand up to shock and be brave!"—a bit of Moolaadé spirit, right?

Fort Regent Tunnel to close overnight until 21 February