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So, I tried it, yeah? Tinder, Bumble, all that malarkey. Met this bird, thought she was peng, turns out she’s 50, not 25! I was fumin’, bruv, like, what’s good? False advertisin’—should’ve clocked it. But then, there’s this other time, right, smashed it with a fit one. She was like, “Let’s link, no strings.” I’m gassed, innit—pure vibes! Reminds me of that horse in the film, just ploddin’ along, no fuss, no drama.

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On the way, I’m cruisin’ down the Bexhill Road, and I see this massive traffic jam. I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need.” But then, I spot a busker on the corner of London Road, playin’ some sick tunes. I pull over, and for a sec, I forget about the chaos. He’s got this vibe, man. I toss him a couple of quid and keep movin’.

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